Bathroom Confessions
by SebbySonOfThrain
Summary: Kenny's had a rough night and needs a place to stay. i am so bad with summaries and this is my first fic i've ever published rip sebby. enjoy! Kenny's POV I DO NOT OWN SOUTH PARK IT ALL BELONGS TO TREY PARKER AND MATT STONE. I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS EITHER /sadly/ rated T for language i guess


The sound of smashing tableware rang in my ear as another plate smashed on the wall behind me, and another slew of slurred curse words echoed through our flimsy home.  
It was another one of my dads, "I'm drunk so let me yell at everyone and throw shit" type of nights.  
I won't lie, tonight I kind of contributed to his rage.  
He found out I stole some of his cigarettes and beer the other day. I would have replaced them eventually, but I guess when you're an alcoholic and nicotine addicted fuck, you don't care if someone will replace your precious "treasure" or not. It just matters that you took their shit they depend on daily.  
To him, it was basically like taking his oxygen.

"Dammit, Ken! How many fucking times have I gotta tell ya not to touch my shit?! Did ya buy that beer?" he yelled as he got nearer to me "Did ya buy those fuckin' cigarettes!?" I glared at him. "HUH?!"  
I flinched at the volume of his voice. Our neighbors won't call the cops, so I didn't worry about that. They never call the cops. They just know this is just a usual thing over here.  
"No. I didn't." I said sternly. "That's right, boy." He lazily nodded his head.  
He was still in my face and now just breathing on me. He reeked of various alcoholic drinks. The shit he drinks down at Skeeter's Bar is a lot stronger than beer and definitely overpowers the smell of any trace of beer on his breath. Or clothes. Depends on if he's hurled all over himself or not.  
"I'll get you more beer and cigs when I get my paycheck. Promise." I said coldly.  
I tried to push past him, but he wouldn't move. "What else do you want?" I started at him.  
"I want some god damn respect from you, kid. I am your father." His words were slurred but I could still understand.  
That sentence made my skin crawl. Respect? Why should I respect someone who deserves none? "Just because you're my father doesn't mean I have to give you a damn bit of respect." My voice was calm, but I was boiling on the inside. My fists clenched, ready to knock him on his ass.  
He looked confused and even more angry than he was before. "Say that again?"  
"I said, I don't owe you a bit of fucking respect." I could see the veins in his neck popping out and his face getting redder. All of my guards were up and I was ready to defend myself. He was drunk enough that it'll be easy to shove him and leave him on the living room floor for the night.  
Before I could block he swung his fist into my jaw and knocked me to the ground. "You're gonna respect me whether ya want to or not!" He said as he rammed his foot into my stomach, causing the breath to be knocked out of me.  
Despite the fact that I wasn't able to breathe properly, I got up fairly quick anyway. Not quick enough because as soon as I got up, he shoved me to the ground again. He laughed "You've always been weak, you know that?" My body was shaking with anger. But I knew I had to hold it in. I couldn't do this tonight. "Get up." I glared up at him, wiping off some of the blood that trickled down my chin. To be honest, I really didn't want to fight him. Karen was in her room and could definitely hear what was going on. I didn't want her to come in and see us. Or worse, get hurt herself. Hitting an 8 year old little girl isn't under my dad, trust me. Not at least when he's drunk and irate like he is now. "GET UP!" his voice echoed. I scoffed and got up from the stained with only god knows what floor. "I don't want to fight tonight. I'm outta here." I walked past him but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back "You ain't gonna finish what you started?!" I jerked my arm free "No, I'm not!" I yelled at him.  
He started yelling things I couldn't bother to understand. Something about how I'm not help around here and that I'm a disrespectful punk who's never gonna amount to shit. Thanks, pop.  
After about 10 minutes of his incoherent yelling, he finally gave up and told me to get lost.  
That's exactly what I did.

I wasn't sure where I was gonna go at 11:00PM, but I'd find somewhere. I always do.

My stomach was killing me and my jaw felt like it had been popped out of place. I'm bleeding, too. Awesome.  
I tightened the hood of my parka and stuffed my hands in my front pockets. "_I should have grabbed an extra jacket." _I mumbled through the thick material of my parka. _"And my fucking keys."_  
It's cold as ballsack tonight. Not that it isn't always this cold, but not being prepared for it is what made it even colder.  
Where am I even gonna go? Butters' window is always locked and he sleeps like he's in a coma. Also his parents probably keep a surveillance camera in his room. I wouldn't put that past them.  
Stan's mom doesn't like unexpected visitors. Especially in the middle of the night. Cartman is...Cartman. However…I could definitely convince his mom to let me in. Charm and good looks is all it takes.  
I considered for a second and then turned my own idea down. Who the hell would let me crash on their couch at this time? I thought for a minute and finally, _"Kyle." _ Hopefully Kyle wouldn't mind me dropping by. Not like he could say no, right? I'm basically a bleeding lost puppy looking for shelter from the cold. I just gotta keep my voice down so his parents won't hear. Not like they cared TOO much. I hope. 

I made a left onto Kyle's street and suddenly everything got brighter. Street lights.  
There are not many street lights in or around my neighborhood. Probably because they'd all been shot out by someone.  
I made my way down the street, looking at all the houses. They're all so nice and big. They also have more than one window. I'd love to live in a house like that. Or at least be a guest in one for more than a couple of nights. Maybe like a month? That'd be great. Heating, hot water, no rats. Living the high life.  
I chuckled and shook my head "_Shut up, Kenny." _I turned into Kyle's driveway and went straight to the side of the house. I couldn't just knock on the door because I'm pretty sure it's almost 12:00AM.  
I picked up one of the pebbles from 's dead and frozen garden and tossed it up to Kyle's window. No response. I picked another one up and tossed it a little harder, making a louder '_clink_' noise against his window. "_Come on, Kyle. I'm gonna be a popsicle by the time you wake your ass up and let me in." _I mumbled through my parka. I picked up one last pebble and tossed it even harder than the last. Luckily, the windows opened this time. I saw Kyle's untamable hair poke out of the window before I saw his face. "Kenny? What the hell are you doing? It's 11:30." Kyle half shouted out the window. Trying to keep his voice down as much as possible but still loud enough for me to hear it, "_I was wondering if I could crash at your place tonight." _I said, wrapping my arms around myself, trying to convince Kyle that I really was cold and needed somewhere to sleep. Because I am and I do.  
Kyle squinted, "What? Take your hood off, dude. I can't hear you." I huffed and pulled my hood down. The cold hit my face like a sack of dicks. "Shit." I shivered. "Can I stay here tonight?" Kyle looked down at me for a second and gestured me to go around to the front door so he could let me in. At least that's what I was assuming. I nodded and headed back to the front of the house.  
Kyle opened the front door slowly, trying to keep it from making too much noise. He looked at me. "What happened to you?" I walked past him into the front area of his /warm/ home. "Had some quality time with pops tonight." Kyle gave me an 'I understand' type of look and nodded. "So, where can I sleep? I'll take the floor if you have some blankets." I unzipped my parka. "You're not gonna sleep on the floor, dude. I'll find somewhere for you to sleep. The couch is out of question because my mom likes to wake up really early and I'm sure she won't like seeing someone sleeping on our couch when she didn't know anything about it." Kyle lightly pushed me to go upstairs and I did so. "You can take my bed. I'll sleep on the floor." He said as we went up the stairs.  
"I'm not gonna take your bed from you, Kyle." I could practically hear him rolling his eyes, "It's not taking if I offer it to you." I shrugged and walked into his room. It was almost the same as when we were kids. He still had that Einstein poster up, and the "Go Cows!" school poster. And a few newly added posters from his newer interests. I still try and convince him to get a picture of a babe up on his wall but he keeps refusing. His room is also super clean. Nothing like my room. No dirty clothes on the floor, paper plates or cups, cans, cigarette cartons, skateboard parts. His room could be considered spotless compared to mine and either his mom is always riding his ass about keeping it clean or he's just a secret clean freak.  
I pulled my parka off land laid it on his desk chair and looked to Kyle. "Can I use your bathroom real quick? I gotta piss and get this shit off my face." Kyle nodded, "Go ahead." I walked into his bathroom and shut the door behind me. Even his bathroom was super clean. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought they had a maid. The Broflovski's were just clean people, I guess.  
I unzipped my pants and tried my best not to get any piss on the seat. I remember when we were like 11 or so, we'd always go in the bathroom at school together and see who could pee the longest. Stan was always the last one peeing. I chuckled at the memory as I zipped my pants back up.  
I turned the sink on, looking into the mirror to actually determine how much blood there was on my face. I raised my eyebrows and scrunched them back together. Making faces in the mirror is something I do with pride. I shook my head, turned the faucet on and cupped some warm water in my hands and splashed my face with it.  
The sound of the water rushing was soothing. Relaxing. I don't get to relax much so being able to just stand there and be at peace was great. My thoughts were calm and they haven't been for a while.  
I looked into the mirror for a while and got this crushing feeling in my stomach. All these thoughts of about what my dad said were starting to surface and I couldn't get them to go away, "_Useless." "Weak." "Stupid." "Pathetic." _I got a sudden overwhelming feeling of sadness and before I knew it, tears were already running down my cheeks. I wiped them away but they kept coming. I shut the toilet lid and sat down and put my face in my hands. For some reason, I wasn't crying out loud. I wasn't making any noises. I was just silently crying. Good thing too because the last thing I wanted was for anyone to see me crying. Especially one of my best friends.  
A small noise escaped my lips and after that one slip, I couldn't stop. It had went from silent crying to uncontrollable sobbing.  
I heard a knock on the door, "Kenny? Are you alright?" I didn't answer him. I just wanted to stop crying.  
"Kenny?" Kyle called again, "I'm coming in." I was about to protest, but he came in anyway.  
"Go away." I tried to make my voice sound like I wasn't sobbing like a baby, but it was hard to conceal. "I'm not gonna go away, dude. You're crying." He came nearer. "I'm not crying!" I half shouted. Who the fuck was I kidding? "Yes, yes you are. Just tell me what's wrong." He put a hand on my shoulder.  
I inhaled sharply and shook my head, "My dad is right. I am pathetic. I couldn't even fight back!"  
Kyle kept his hand on my shoulder. "He's always telling me how useless I am and how much I'll never accomplish in life. I'm from where a kids future is on the street with the rest of the bums." I wiped more of my tears away, "I am weak. Fucking crying like a pussy." Kyle got down on my level so we could see eye to eye, but didn't say anything. "I can never do anything right! He's always saying how much I fuck up and how when I get out of the house, I'll just end up homeless or dead. How even if I had a job, I'd fuck that up and get fired eventually. I do have a job! He's just too drunk to know where the fuck I am half the time!" I was shaking at this point, more angry than I was sad. I could feel Kyle's eyes burning into me, but I kept going. ""you need to help support this family now that Kevin isn't here." I've been the ONLY one supporting this fucking family! Mom can't find a job ever since the Olive Garden went out of business. And Karen's fucking 8 years old. He goes down to the bar and gets drunk! How is that helping? It isn't! "you're not the parent, Kenny." Then who's gonna feed Karen? Get her up and dressed and off to school? Buy her clothes or shoes when she needs them? Protect her? Me! I'm more of a parent than he will **ever** be!" I could feel my body getting hot. "He knows damn well that whenever Karen needs something, I am **always** the person who gives her whatever she needs. He also knows damn well that she can't defend herself from HIM. I defend her from him! She's a little girl and she depends on me! If something ever happened to her, he would never take responsibility for it! I would. I buy the groceries, I make money, my grades are okay. Why am I not fucking good enough for him!?" I took a deep breath and rubbed the back of my neck. I think I was done.  
Kyle didn't say anything. All he did was grab me and pull me into a hug. I gasped a little because I can't remember the last time someone had comforted me before. Not like this, at least.  
Neither of us said anything, but I started crying again. Dammit. Kyle only hugged me tighter. I buried my face into the crook of his neck and just cried. Something about Kyle was just comforting. His smell, his voice, his touch. Everything. I felt safe and that no matter how much I looked and sounded like a puss, he wasn't judging me. I forgot all about trying to be tough and just fell apart on Kyle. I wrapped my arms around his torso and clenched his pajama material in my hands and just sobbed into him. He didn't let go, he didn't loosen his grip. He let me cry and he let me babble random insults and curse words directed at my father. He just patted and rubbed my back.  
After a few minutes of incoherent sobbing into Kyle's neck, I pulled away. My eyes were burning and my face felt hot but somehow, I felt like I had the weight of whole world lifted off my shoulders. Like I just needed to cry like a baby to get this feeling of relief. I've punched and yelled and got into fights all the time, but it never gave me this feeling. I've cried, too. But this is the first time I've cried in the presence of someone who was there to comfort me like Kyle did.  
Kyle gave me a little smile, "You know, everything your dad has said about you is wrong. Useless? No way. Remember when my car died 20 miles outside of town and you came all the way out there just to help me. Weak?" He scoffed, "I don't think I've met anyone as strong as you are. With your home situation and the way some people treat you. You just keep going. I admire that, Kenny. Also, I saw what you did to that one kid a few weeks ago for messing with Butters. So don't even tell me you think you're physically weak." I chuckled softly. "And stupid? You're really witty and a fast thinker. So what if your math skills aren't that great? That doesn't determine your intelligence. I'm not that great with math, either. Pathetic? You're nowhere near pathetic, dude." I looked down, not saying anything. "My point is your dad is wrong. You're a great brother, provider, worker and person. I think you're an incredible friend and I'm sure everyone else who knows you thinks so, too. You're always ready to help your friends out. And ready to pounce on anyone who says anything about Karen or hurts Karen. Don't ever think of yourself as anything but good. Your dad can say what he wants, but what he thinks isn't important. You're gonna get out of this town and make a life for yourself. I know it. You've always been pretty independent and I know you're gonna be successful, dude. I love you." He paused for a second, "We all love you. Don't forget that."  
He hugged me again and I gladly embraced it. "Thank you." I whispered. Part of me wished he wouldn't have included the 'We all love you' thing. I would have been okay with just him saying he loves me.

He patted my back, "Anytime, Kenny." We pulled apart again, but this time something felt weird. I felt like something needed to be said or done but I couldn't put my finger on it. I tried to shake the feeling off. "It's pretty late, dude. We should go to sleep." I nodded, "Yeah, I'm pretty tired after all that girly shit." I smiled at Kyle and he laughed. "That was pretty girly, huh?" "Yeah."  
Kyle left the bathroom but I didn't follow. I couldn't stop thinking about how there was something unsaid. Something needed to be said but I couldn't figure out what the fuck it was. After realizing I wasn't behind him, Kyle came back into the bathroom. "Hey, what's wrong?" His brows furrowed. I know now. I know what I need to say.

'_Say it.' _Nothing was coming out of my mouth, but I knew what I wanted to say. What I needed to say.  
'_COME ON!" _Why can't I just say it, dammit!? _'Tell him.' _I shook my head, opened my mouth and finally, "I like you." Kyle stared at me, "I like you, too, dude." I sighed harshly. "I mean I _like like_ you."Fuck.  
Kyle's eyes widened and I could just feel my heart fall out of my ass. Why the fuck did I even say this? Could have saved this shit for another day. Maybe somewhere better than his bathroom. Like yeah let me confess my feelings for you by this fucking toilet.  
The air was stiff and suddenly cold. "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I can find somewhere else to sleep tonight. Thanks for the talk and, uh, stuff." I raked my fingers through my hair and pushed past him. As soon as I did, my face instantly fired up and was probably redder than Kyle's hair.  
Before I could make it to the first step, I felt Kyle grab me. "But I _like like_ you, too." His voice was soft and sincere. It didn't take too much for me to turn right back around and face him. "What?" My breathing was getting heavy. "I said I like you too. Like more than a friend. I'm just fucking hoping to god that's what you meant." My lips curled into a grin, "Yeah, yeah it is what I meant." My words were breathy. For a few seconds, we didn't say anything. We just grinned at each other. It didn't feel weird or awkward, it felt right.  
"So uh, now that we've declared our love for each other," Kyle scoffed, "I was wondering if maybe you'd want to go on a date sometime." I raised my eyebrows. "It's almost 1:00AM and you're asking me on a date?" I smiled, "Yeah, I am." Kyle shook his head "I'd like that a lot. But for tonight, let's just go to bed."  
He grabbed my arm and pulled me back to his room, "You're staying here tonight, dude. I don't care what you say." He gestured to his bed. "Sleep." He walked over to his closet, probably to grab an extra blanket. I was about to lay down, but there was one more thing that I needed to get out of the way.  
"Kyle." I tapped him on the shoulder, "Yeah?" He turned around and I smooched that cutie right on the lips. I could feel his body tense up. Even his lips were kind of tense. But they were soft and warm.  
After about 5 seconds, he relaxed and melted into the kiss just like I had. I cupped his face to deepen the kiss. As soon as I did that, he wrapped his arms around my neck and ran his fingers through my hair.  
I've never felt anything more real than this moment. It felt like something that needed to happen and I'm so glad it did. I like Kyle a lot, and it makes me really happy that he likes me back. For the first time in a long time, I felt completed. Like Kyle is what I needed all along.  
My body felt warm and I couldn't help but to smile. As soon as I did, Kyle smiled too. So we basically went from kissing to smiling incredibly close to each other's faces. He giggled, "Loser." I rubbed my forehead against his, "Nerd."  
A few minutes of mushy love stuff and kisses later, we finally went to bed. There was room for two on his bed and he knew it.  
I laid there for a while, waiting for Kyle to fall asleep. Mainly so I could just spoon with him. And that is exactly what I did. I guess he wasn't completely asleep because when I got my arm around him, he turned to face me and snuggled his face into my chest. Who was I kidding? Cuddling is way better than spooning and I bet Kyle knew that, too. What a dork, right? A cute dork.  
Confessing your feelings isn't easy, especially when they're for one of your best friends.  
But to get the happiness you want, you have to sack up and do what needs to be done.  
And if that means having a breakdown and randomly declaring my love for my best friend in his bathroom, then that's what I'll do and it's exactly what I did. 


End file.
